31 Ultimate Moving-In-Together Checklist: What to Keep, Sell, and Donate

You’ve survived the dating apps. You’ve met the parents. You’ve even successfully navigated a road trip without breaking up. Now comes the true final boss of relationships: Merging your stuff.

Let’s be real. The fight over the thermostat is legendary, but the silent war over whose “aesthetic” dominates the living room is where relationships are truly tested.

I have spent 15 years in home design media, and I can tell you this: Love does not conquer a lack of closet space.

Cohabitation isn’t just an emotional milestone; it is a logistical beast. When you ignore the physics of combining two households into one, resentment builds in the form of clutter.

The goal isn’t just to fit everything in. It is to curate a home that serves both of you.

This isn’t about compromise; it’s about editing.

The “Why”: It’s Not About You, It’s About Square Footage

Why does moving in together feel like a negotiation with a hostile nation? Because residential architecture rarely accounts for dual histories.

Standard apartments are designed with the assumption of a single coherent style or a family unit that grew together. They are not designed for two fully-formed adults with two couches, two toaster ovens, and two contradictory opinions on taxidermy.

Friction happens when physics fails.

If you don’t have a designated “landing strip” for keys, one of you will lose them daily. If you don’t have motion-isolating furniture, one of you will sleep on the couch.

We are going to solve your relationship problems not with therapy, but with furniture layout, storage density, and ruthless decluttering.

Below is the Ultimate 31-Point Checklist, divided into the four major battlegrounds of the home.

Battleground 1: The Bedroom (Sleep & Storage)

This is the most critical zone. Sleep deprivation is the number one killer of romance. Your design strategy here must prioritize rest and closet equity.

The Strategy: Treat the bedroom like a high-end hotel room. If it doesn’t contribute to sleep or getting dressed, it is evicted.

1. The Mattress

• The Context: Sleep compatibility is the bedrock of a happy relationship. If you are rolling into the middle due to sagging springs or waking up every time your partner twitches, resentment will fester quickly.
• The Situation: You have a Full; they have a Queen. Or you both have Queen beds of varying squishiness.
• The Verdict: SELL BOTH.
• The Fix: Buy a brand new King-size mattress. This is non-negotiable. It signals a “fresh start” and ensures no one feels like a guest in the other’s bed. Look for motion isolation technology (pocket coils or high-density memory foam) so you don’t feel them thrash around at 3 AM.

2. The Bed Frame

• The Context: Your bed is the visual anchor of the room. A bulky frame in a small shared apartment makes the space feel claustrophobic and steals valuable storage square footage that you desperately need.
• The Situation: One is a squeaky metal frame; the other is a bulky sleigh bed that eats floor space.
• The Verdict: DONATE.
• The Fix: Upgrade to a storage bed with hydraulic lift or drawers. In a shared home, under-bed space is premium real estate for off-season linens. If it doesn’t store, it’s a chore.

3. Mismatched Nightstands

• The Context: Symmetry brings calm to a shared space, but matching sets can feel dated. The goal is visual balance, ensuring neither side of the bed feels superior or like an afterthought.
• The Situation: You have a sleek mid-century table; they have a milk crate.
• The Verdict: KEEP (maybe).
• The Fix: Mismatching is fine if the height is the same. If the heights vary by more than two inches, it looks accidental. If you can’t match them, paint them the same color to create visual cohesion.

4. The “Chair” (You know the one)

• The Context: Every bedroom has a “clutter magnet”—usually a chair that functions as a purgatory for clothes that aren’t quite dirty but aren’t quite clean. It enables messiness.
• The Situation: That chair in the corner that is never sat on, only used to pile semi-clean laundry.
• The Verdict: DONATE IMMEDIATELY.
• The Fix: Remove the horizontal surface that enables the clutter. Replace it with a valet stand or a coat rack. Force the habit of hanging clothes, don’t enable the pile.

5. Wire Hangers

• The Context: The easiest way to fight over closet space is to use bulky, mismatched hangers. They tangle, they break, and they steal horizontal inches you desperately need for two wardrobes.
• The Situation: A tangled mess of dry-cleaner wire hangers and bulky plastic tubes.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: Buy 100 matching slim velvet hangers. This isn’t just aesthetic. Velvet hangers save roughly 30% of rod space compared to wood or plastic. In a shared closet, that 30% is gold.

6. Duplicate Duvets

• The Context: The “tug of war” over the blanket is a cliché for a reason. Sleeping temperatures rarely align, and one heavy duvet usually leaves one partner sweating while the other freezes.
• The Situation: You both have winter comforters.
• The Verdict: KEEP ONE, DONATE ONE.
• The Fix: Keep the one with the highest thread count or down fill power. If you sleep at different temperatures, buy two twin duvets (the Scandinavian method) so you stop fighting over covers.

7. Pillows (Older than 2 years)

• The Context: Bringing old, yellowed pillows into a new shared life is a hygiene failure. Pillows degrade faster than you think, affecting your neck health and how your bed looks when made.
• The Situation: Yellowed, flat, sad pillows.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: Pillows are biological hazards after two years. Buy fresh ones. Use pillow protectors immediately to extend their life.

8. Underwear & Socks

• The Context: Nothing kills the romance of moving in together like seeing tattered boxers or holy socks spilling out of a dresser. This is about self-respect and respecting the shared visual space.
• The Situation: Drawers overflowing with holy socks and stretched elastic.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: If you are moving in, you deserve new socks. Implement the “One-In, One-Out” rule here specifically. Use drawer dividers to keep his and hers (or theirs and theirs) separate.

Battleground 2: The Living Room (Style & Seating)

The living room is where your styles clash publicly. The goal here is flow. You need to create a layout that allows two people to exist without tripping over ottomans.

The Strategy: Pick a “Hero Piece” (usually the sofa) and build around it. Everything else must audition for its spot.

9. The Bachelor/Bachelorette Sofa

• The Context: The sofa is the “altar” of the home. It’s where you debrief, binge-watch, and nap. A piece that is too small or worn out invites physical discomfort and limits cuddling.
• The Situation: A sofa that has seen too many pizza nights, or a loveseat that is too small for two people to lounge.
• The Verdict: SELL.
• The Fix: Pool your money for a deep sectional. You need a piece of furniture that allows you to sit together without touching constantly. Personal space on a couch is key to longevity.

10. The Recliner

• The Context: The stereotypical “Dad chair” is often a major point of aesthetic contention. You need to balance the desire for supreme comfort with the absolute need for visual flow.
• The Situation: Often bulky, ugly, but insanely comfortable.
• The Verdict: NEGOTIATE.
• The Fix: If it stays, it gets reupholstered. Better yet, replace it with a modern recliner (like a West Elm or Rejuvenation style) that hides the mechanism. Comfort doesn’t have to be ugly.

11. Area Rugs

• The Context: A rug determines the “zone” of your living area. Using a rug that is too small makes the room feel disjointed and cheap, like a temporary college dorm setup.
• The Situation: You have a 5×7; they have a 5×7.
• The Verdict: KEEP THE LARGEST.
• The Fix: A rug that is too small makes a room look cheap and cluttered. In a shared space, you want a 9×12 or larger to ground the furniture. If your rugs are small, layer them or use them in hallways.

12. Coffee Table Books

• The Context: Books define your intellectual identity, but in a shared home, they can become heavy visual noise. You are merging libraries, not opening a used bookstore in your living room.
• The Situation: Stacks of books neither of you have opened in years.
• The Verdict: CURATE.
• The Fix: Keep the ones that reflect shared interests (travel, art, cooking). Donate the generic fillers. Use them to create height variation on shelves, not just clutter on tables.

13. The TV Console

• The Context: Electronics are necessary evils, but seeing their guts (wires and blinking lights) creates low-level visual stress. Your media center needs to hide the chaos, not display it.
• The Situation: An open-shelf unit showing a nest of wires.
• The Verdict: DONATE.
• The Fix: Buy a unit with closed doors. Visual noise adds to stress. Hiding the Xbox, the router, and the cables instantly calms the room down.

14. Throw Blankets

• The Context: Textiles add warmth, but a pile of mismatched, cheap fleece throws makes a living room look messy. It’s about quality textures over quantity to elevate the room.
• The Situation: A mountain of mismatched fleece.
• The Verdict: DONATE ANIMAL SHELTERS.
• The Fix: Keep three high-quality throws (wool, cotton, faux fur). Store them in a woven basket. If it doesn’t fit in the basket, it leaves the house.

15. Sentimental Knick-Knacks

• The Context: We all have emotional attachments to small objects, but displaying them all at once creates a “flea market” vibe. Your home needs negative space to breathe and look intentional.
• The Situation: Trophies, figurines, travel souvenirs.
• The Verdict: box IT (TEMPORARILY).
• The Fix: Don’t display everything at once. Rotate your collections. This keeps the space feeling fresh and prevents the “museum of clutter” look.

16. Lighting

• The Context: Overhead lighting is the enemy of ambiance. To make two mismatched styles work together, you need to control the “temperature” of the light sources to unify the room.
• The Situation: Harsh overhead lights or unmatched floor lamps.
• The Verdict: KEEP THE LAMPS.
• The Fix: Lighting is the best way to merge styles. Even if the lamps are different, put matching warm-tone smart bulbs in them. Syncing the color temperature unifies the room instantly.

Battleground 3: The Kitchen (Gadgets & Flow)

The kitchen is the most dangerous zone for duplicates. You do not need two blenders. I repeat: You do not need two blenders.

The Strategy: Mise-en-place. Every item must have a designated home, or it becomes counter clutter.

17. The Mug Collection

• The Context: Mugs reproduce in the dark. You likely have a cabinet full of chipped promotional mugs that make your morning coffee feel chaotic rather than serene. It’s visual noise.
• The Situation: 40 mugs. You use 3.
• The Verdict: DONATE 80%.
• The Fix: Keep a matching set for guests and two “personality” mugs each. Use the cabinet space you save for actual food.

18. Dull Knives

• The Context: Cooking together is romantic until you are sawing at a tomato with a dull blade. Most people own too many bad knives and not enough good ones.
• The Situation: Two blocks of cheap, dull knives.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: Dull knives are dangerous. Keep the one best chef’s knife and the one best paring knife. Buy a magnetic knife strip to clear counter space.

19. Plastic Tupperware (Mismatched)

• The Context: The “Tupperware Avalanche” is a universal stressor. Mismatched lids and stained plastic make packing lunch a frustrating daily scavenger hunt that starts your day with annoyance.
• The Situation: A drawer full of bottoms with no lids, or sauce-stained plastic.
• The Verdict: RECYCLE.
• The Fix: Switch to a nesting glass container set. They stack perfectly, look better, and don’t leach chemicals. This solves the “lid hunt” argument forever.

20. Unitaskers (Apple Slicers, Egg Cookers)

• The Context: Marketing has convinced us we need a machine for everything. These single-use gadgets clog drawers and steal space from the tools you actually use to cook dinner.
• The Situation: Gadgets that do only one thing.
• The Verdict: DONATE.
• The Fix: Unless you eat hard-boiled eggs daily, you don’t need a machine for it. Use a pot. Reclaim that drawer space for drawer organizers to separate forks from spoons.

21. Spices

• The Context: Spices are the hidden clutter of the kitchen. Mismatched bottles of varying heights make it impossible to find what you need, leading to duplicate buying and wasted money.
• The Situation: Two jars of cumin, both from 2018.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: Spices lose potency after a year. Buy fresh. Transfer them into matching square jars. Square jars fit together without gaps, maximizing shelf efficiency.

22. Small Appliances (Toaster, Blender, Mixer)

• The Context: Counter space is the most valuable territory in a kitchen. Housing two toasters or two blenders is a luxury that standard apartments cannot support physically or visually.
• The Situation: Doubles of everything.
• The Verdict: SELL THE CHEAPER ONE.
• The Fix: Keep the higher-end model. If you have a Vitamix and they have a Ninja, the Ninja goes on Facebook Marketplace. Use the cash for a dinner date.

23. Dish Towels

• The Context: Old towels harbor bacteria and look unsightly hanging on the oven door. They are a small detail that has a huge impact on how clean the kitchen feels.
• The Situation: Ratty, stained rags.
• The Verdict: RAG BAG.
• The Fix: Demote these to cleaning rags. Buy 10 matching flour sack towels. They are absorbent, cheap, and look uniform hanging on the oven handle.

24. Pots and Pans

• The Context: Stacking mismatched pans creates a cacophony of noise every time you cook. You need a streamlined system that nests quietly and cooks evenly without toxic flaking.
• The Situation: Scratched non-stick pans.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: Scratched Teflon is toxic. Keep the cast iron (it lasts forever) and the stainless steel. Invest in a vertical lid organizer to stop the loud crashing sound every time you cook.

Battleground 4: The Bathroom & Utility (Territory & Grooming)

Bathrooms are usually small. When two grooming routines collide in 40 square feet, you need verticality.

The Strategy: If it touches the counter, it’s clutter. Get it off the surface.

25. Half-Empty Toiletries

• The Context: The “product graveyard” under the sink is where good intentions go to die. Holding onto nearly-empty bottles creates physical barriers to your morning routine and frustration.
• The Situation: Six bottles of shampoo with 1 inch of liquid left.
• The Verdict: CONSOLIDATE OR TRASH.
• The Fix: Combine same-brand products. If you haven’t used it in a month, toss it. Real estate is too expensive to house expired lotion.

26. Towels (The Scratchy Ones)

• The Context: Bath sheets are intimate items. Using old, scratchy, or stained towels makes your shared bathroom feel dingy instead of like a sanctuary for getting clean.
• The Situation: A mix of colors and textures, some that exfoliate you against your will.
• The Verdict: ANIMAL SHELTER.
• The Fix: Buy two sets of white towels. White can be bleached. It looks spa-like. It reduces visual noise in a small room.

27. The Shower Caddy

• The Context: Sharing a shower means navigating a minefield of bottles. If you are tripping over shampoo, your bathroom design has failed you and creates a hazard.
• The Situation: Bottles on the floor of the shower.
• The Verdict: TRASH.
• The Fix: Install a tension pole caddy in the corner or a hanging caddy over the showerhead. Floor space is for feet, not conditioner.

28. Cleaning Supplies

• The Context: You cannot clean a house with clutter. If your cleaning supplies are a jumbled mess under the sink, you are less likely to actually do the cleaning.
• The Situation: Multiples of Windex and frantic clutter under the sink.
• The Verdict: KEEP.
• The Fix: You will always need cleaning supplies. But, organize them with pull-out under-sink drawers. If you can’t see the back of the cabinet, you’ll buy duplicates.

29. Tools

• The Context: Every adult brings a hammer to the relationship. You do not need five of them. A disorganized tool situation leads to frustration when something actually breaks.
• The Situation: Two hammers, four screwdrivers, random screws.
• The Verdict: CONSOLIDATE.
• The Fix: Create one master tool kit. Buy a proper toolbox. Donate the cheap duplicate tools to a local housing charity.

30. Luggage

• The Context: Suitcases are large, hollow, and often empty for 350 days a year. Storing them side-by-side is a massive waste of closet volume that you need for clothes.
• The Situation: Four giant suitcases taking up closet space.
• The Verdict: KEEP (NESTED).
• The Fix: Nest the carry-ons inside the checked bags. If you have damaged luggage, toss it. You only need one large and one small suitcase per person.

31. Papers & Manuals

• The Context: We hold onto paper “just in case,” but in the digital age, this is just hoarding. Paper clutter attracts dust and makes a home feel administrative rather than cozy.
• The Situation: Manuals for TVs you don’t own, old bills.
• The Verdict: SHRED.
• The Fix: Manuals are online. Bills are digital. Keep birth certificates and passports in a fireproof box. Shred the rest.

The Decision Matrix: How to Choose

Stuck on a specific item? Use this table to make the call without the emotional baggage.

The Buying Guide: Investments That Save Relationships

You’ve purged. Now, here are the few strategic purchases that actually solve the friction points we discussed.

• 1. The “Sound-Dampening” Rug:Don’t skimp here. A thick wool rug with a felt pad underneath absorbs sound. This is crucial if one of you walks heavily or if you have downstairs neighbors. It creates a “soft” zone in the house that lowers stress levels.
• 2. The Cord-Management Box:Nothing causes low-level anxiety like a rat’s nest of cables. Buy simple white or black cable boxes to hide power strips. It takes five minutes to set up and makes the room look 50% cleaner.
• 3. The Entryway “Drop Zone” Console:If you don’t have a mudroom, fake one. Buy a narrow console table with two drawers (one for you, one for them) and a bottom shelf for shoes. This stops the “clutter creep” from entering the main living space.
• 4. Under-Bed Storage Bins (With Wheels):Do not buy the cheap plastic ones that crack. Buy fabric or rattan bins with wheels. They look like furniture, glide easily, and double your dresser space.
• 5. The Split-King Adjustable Base:If you have the budget, this is the nuclear option for sleep happiness. You can raise your head to read while they sleep flat. It is the ultimate “together but separate” sleep solution.

Your First Move

Start with Category 4 (The Bathroom).

It is low stakes. It is mostly expired products and old towels. There is very little sentimental attachment to a bottle of conditioner.

Tackling the easy wins first gives you momentum and proves that you can make decisions together without arguing. Once you clear the bathroom counter, you’ll feel the dopamine hit of a shared, organized space. Then, and only then, are you ready to face the closet.

Good luck. You got this.